Oh, the B-word.. let's talk bridesmaids!
It is noted that bridesmaids were once present for the purpose of protecting the bride on her wedding day by confusing evil spirits that may intend to harm the bride. It's a big deal! When choosing your bridesmaids, choose those who you would trust with your life! :)
In this day and age, bridesmaids are expected to throw showers, bachelorette parties, often travel for the wedding on top of being required to purchase dresses and pay for makeup, hair, accessories etc.. and make sure the bride has everything she needs during her big day.
However, more often than not, brides do not realize how much financial responsibility weighs on their bridesmaids. A prime example is the article entitled How Being a Bridesmaid Is Driving Me to the Brink of Bankruptcy, posted on Alternet (www.alternet.org), With the average wedding costing a bridesmaid upwards of $1,500.00 it can be more than some can handle. Add to that the hours of planning and events and the stress and it is quite the commitment to make!
So.. How can you make sure your bridesmaids are happy?
Here are 5 Tips to be a good bride to your bridesmaids
1. Don't be offended if someone declines to be your bridesmaid
If you would like to keep someone who declined to be a bridesmaid in your wedding, start by asking them what their concerns are. If there is a workaround or something you can do to ease their worries, do it. Otherwise, if they agree to help out, but do not want to be a part of the wedding, then let them help you.
2. Be realistic with your expectations and remain Flexible
These women have agreed to help you on your big day and look out for your best interest. Show that you are looking out for theirs! Try to be flexible in your planning and give them choices. Having options will put your bridesmaids more at ease with the process and seeing that you are trying to be reasonable will make them more appreciative.
For example
• Select a few dresses you like and ask for their input on which they prefer before the final decision is made. This also applies to hair and makeup choices.
• Schedule events and wedding planning meetings etc… at the best dates/times for the group
• Use email, Schedule Skype sessions or conference calls to discuss wedding details if possible. rather than multiple in-person meetings
• Make sure you work in some time for fun!
3. Consider finances
Determine what costs you will cover for your bridesmaids and an approximate cost for their expenses. Present your potential bridesmaids with an estimate so they can make an informed decision and prepare accordingly. Try to negotiate with vendors to get your bridesmaids a deal on their dresses or hair and makeup etc… Whenever possible use the talents your friends have to cut costs as well!
4. Keep yourself organized and your emotions in line
find the best system to keep your wedding plans organized and try to stick to it. Inform your bridesmaids of any major changes. Keep in mind that these are your friends and family members, even though you may be stressed out and emotional, don’t take your emotions out on them. Try to consider their feelings when you address them and make these decisions that affect them too.
5. Be grateful
You may think that allowing someone to be a part of your wedding is thanks enough, but please do take the time to give your bridesmaids a warm and sincere thank you for their hard work and commitment to your big day. There will be times that your emotions get the best of you, recognize how important these women are to you and remember why you chose them to stand beside you in the first place. Yes, bridesmaids’ gifts are touching and are a tangible expression of your gratitude, but nothing beats a genuine expression from the heart.
Happy Planning!
MM